Embers of Time
by phantomoftheopera199
Summary: Hermione feels extremely guilty after the final battle about a certain potions master
1. Chapter 1

She woke up again in the same fashion as she had the night before that and the night before that and, the night before that. It was always the same paralyzing nightmare. Hermione had gotten used to the same harrowing night terrors that plagued her mind over and over again. They had occurred almost every night since the war and virtually unavoidable. Only with the aid of a dreamless sleep potion could she then obtain a peaceful sleep. It had been a good four months and she still couldn't them, not only was she suffering from nightmares but she was also slightly depressed. It had been two weeks since the news that her old Potions Professor: Severus Snape was staying at St. Mungo's being treated with anti-venom. The news had reached her, harry, Ron, Remus, and Tonks at Number 12 Grimmauld Place and all were throughly shocked.

"Blimey!" cried Ron

"Can you believe it?! Old Snapey's alive! I swear though he looked dead just lying there, it looked like there was nobody was in there!"

Hermione had inwardly grimaced at his somewhat morbid and crude description of the supposed "death" of their old Potions teacher.

"Ron as much as we disliked each other I think we owe him more respect,he went through all of this just for my mum, we couldn't have won the war without him." Harry replied. They were all gathered around the kitchen table when a letter-baring owl flew to the window with mail from 's. Harry had promptly taken the letter from the owl and began to read it. "_Dear Mister Potter, the staff of 's Magical Creature inflicted wounds Department would like to inform you of the impending release of a Professor Severus Snape. We have already informed Headmistress Minerva McGonagoll of his release but have yet to receive _ a reply. _While it would seem the most logical for Professor Snape to return to Spinner's End, it no longer exists due to an all consuming fire. As of late there is nowhere for Professor Snape to stay and the staff were hoping that you'd be so kind as to allow him a place to stay until he has found further arrangements. _

_yours,_

_Healer Bartholomew _

_P.S. Professor Snape's release date is set in two weeks_

"Oh My Gods!" Harry called

"What is it?! What's wrong?!" came a startled Remus and Ron

"The healers at 's are asking if Snape can stay with us..it says he has nowhere to go." Harry replied regretfully

"What about Spinner's End?" Ron tried.

"Burned down." Harry's voice was pinched with tight emotion

Hermione had sat there in utter silent shock. That's when the guilt commenced its feast on her soul remembering everything that happened in the Shrieking Shack. It felt like a thousand icicles had frozen over her skin and the memory of those unfathomable black eyes hung in her memory like sulfur in the air. That was two weeks ago... Snape would be arriving tomorrow, or rather today Hermione thought while glancing at the clock. She sat in bed and stared at the ceiling until dawn's blinding light shot through the windows and filled her room with golden light.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Severus Snape woke up in a rather foul mood (no surprise there) not only were the beds and food at 's less than desirable but today was the day for him to go "home" and by home he was going to live with his most hated students and one of his childhood tormentors. "_Bugger it all to_ hell" he thought as he pulled on his dragon hide boots. He stood up and walked over to where the fresh smell of coffee wafted and picked up a cup. "_I hope they don't expect me to gather around the camp fire and sing songs of friendship...I most certainly don't want to see Weasley or Potter especially after those blasted embarrassing memories."_ He inwardly groaned at the thought that his memories were no longer his and blew out an aggravated breath. "_Well Remus will be there I can continue brewing the wolfsbane and maybe we can finally get over the whole Marauders crap. Hmm i'm missing someone ah Miss Granger gods that insufferable-know-it-all well let's just hope she doesn't raise her hand every time she needs to talk to me." _He chuckled darkly at that thought and pulled on his cape.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Hermione couldn't sleep after her last bout of nightmares so she decided to get up early and prepare for the excruciating day ahead. She took a nice long bubble bath and wash away the lingering effects of her nightmare. She got out and performed a drying charm on her now waist length curls and pulled a towel around her body, she stepped in front of her dresser deciding what to wear. "_What do I wear to meet a man who I left for dead on a floor?" _she thought bitterly. Finally deciding she chose a black top with silver clasps, her velvet black cloak, and her black studded boots. She'd never really thought black was flattering but now that her skin had somewhat paled even further and her mood and thoughts darkened considerably it was a staple in her wardrobe. She had just finished tying up her boots when a swift knock came from her door "_Come in!"_ she called. In stepped a cheery Harry

"_Hey Mione you ready to go?" _

_"Uh yeah just let me grab my wand and i'll be ready."_

_"Hermione?"_

_"yeah Harry" _

_"You feeling okay?"_

This finally caught her attention from her wand. Looking up she gave him a watery smile.

_"Yeah don't worry about me just tired that's all."_

This seemed good enough for a Harry and with a smile and flash of green eyes he pulled her into a hug

"_Good, now let's go get Snape..."_

Harry, Hermione, and Remus joined hands and apparated to meet a less than agreeable Snape.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione, Remus, and Harry all apparated directly to 's and walked through the white washed walls to find the help center. Remus walked up to the witch known as Raven

_"Hi Um we're here to pick up Severus Snape?"_ Remus inquired politely. Raven's porcelain face betrayed her ever present hospital

manners "_Oh thank god.."_ she huffed quietly _"Room 304..you'll know which one it is because it's ahem..solitary."_ She meet Remus's

eyes with a pointed gaze. _"Ah I see, well thank you for helping in his ah recovery, good day."_

With that they all boarded the lift and assented towards the solitary ward. Hermione's stomach had bunched up into a coiled snake, with each floor they passed her anxiety grew and she suddenly felt extremely light headed. "_Merlin it's hot in here." _She thought. Before she knew it the dreaded and hellish _Ding! _of the lift let them her know she had arrived in Hell. They all stepped out glancing around to find Snape's room. The solitary ward was quiet, bleak, and utterly heartbreaking. They spotted Snape's room and healer near by.

_"Hi um we're here to collect Severus Snape?" remus said._ Hermione swore she could see a look of relief and a sigh _"Ah right in here I believe he's more than ready to go."_ With that they stepped up to the door only to have it flung open in their faces, in the doorway stood a dark, intimidating, and towering Snape. Hermione thought she might pass out.

_ "Well are we going to stand here twiddling our thumbs or are you going to "collect" me? as so you so kindly put it Remus."_ His voice was the same menacingly smooth drawl that Hermione remembered.

_"Severus"_ the sandy haired man spoke with enthusiasm_ "how good to see you again!"_

Snape simply smirked_ "Indeed."_ Turning to Harry he spoke formally _"Potter, oh where is the other two thirds of your trio?"_ He drawled amusingly,

Hermione suddenly remembering how to talk spoke up from behind Lupin. _"I'm here, Ron's at home, sir."_ There was something different about Miss Granger, that he was certain of. Her face seemed lifeless, her eyes had lost the once annoying flicker they yielded, and she looked almost..frail in his opinion at least.

_"Ah Miss Granger are you still managing being an insufferable-know-it-all?"_ He delivered this with a sardonic smirk "_This will most definitely get some sort of a rise out of her, anything but that dead look, that reminds me too much of myself."_ He thought.

Hermione looked straight through his eyes, face cold and impassive "I'm not her anymore." Though his face portrayed nothing Snape was thoroughly shocked "_What the hell?! who-what? where did Miss Granger go?!" _ he thought to himself. _"Well I think we should probably get going, get some dinner on the way out and bring it back?"_ he proposed, both Harry and Severus nodded in agreement, Hermione remained silent.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

After dinner Ron, Harry, Remus, and Severus made their way to the pool table to have a few drinks and play a little. Severus loathed the idea of living with his former students-correction former most hated students, but he had nowhere else to go and no job so he thought he might try to at least attempt a normal evening.

XOXOXO

Hermione made her way to the roof which had a small star gazing tower. The cool breeze blew against the soft fabric of her nightgown and the chocolatey curls blew around to frame her face. She loved pool and playing with the boys but she really needed to process and think. She now had two of her professors living with her since the war and to be honest she felt overwhelmed, her emotions were in a complete knot. She knew exactly who these thoughts were directed to...Snape. The last time she's seen him was on the floor of the shrieking shack in a pool of red and black; eyes lifeless and cold..simply dead. As she stood in the chilly night she could still see those piercing obsidian eyes staring hard into her soul. She decided to shake the image from her mind and instead shifted her gaze to the Big Dipper's forgiving starlight. Coming here had become a regular pass time, at first she just came here to gaze in awe at the world around her, but recently she felt an urge to release her emotions - either crying or singing. Tonight would be the latter, she couldn't to look at the stars while softly singing,

"_I will watch you in the darkness, show you love will see you through_

_When the bad dreams, wake you crying _

_I'll show you all love can do_

_I will watch through the night_

_hold you in my arms, give you dreams where love will be _

_show you all lo-."_

She stopped suddenly when she thought she heard footsteps. After a moment she continued

"_All the light i'll take you_

_Through the night to see-_

_Our light, showing us all love can be."_

_She_ opened her eyes quickly as the air shifted and the obsidian eyes gazing at her stepped into the moonlight. She froze; quickly fear, panic, and guilt flooded her petite body and stars danced behind her eyes, drowning her senses.

_He_ stepped next to her, slowly moving the ebony eyes over her body carefully before sliding them up to the sky. He said nothing but continued to stare at the moonlight. Hermione continued to stare at him, his pale, pale skin ignited in the supernatural moonlight, his raven shoulder length hair jumping off him in contrast to the glowing white skin. She couldn't help but feel wonderstruck in his commanding presence. They said nothing for the longest time, Hermione out of fear and guilt. Slowly he pointed to a far away constellation and quietly spoke "Orion's belt" Carefully she slid her beaming doe eyes away from the universe and focused on the dark man next to her. She stared at him with crystallized tears stuck just behind the wall of her eyelids threatening escape at any moment. After two months of plastering on a fake smile to her face, guilt and fear shot through her blood like a drug, racing to her mind. She stood there with unshed tears silently shaking. He turned and looked at her annoyed that she was pitying him.

_"Granger." _ He said softly but commanding.

Obsidian met amber eyes

_"Do not cry, I don't want nor do I need your pity." _His voice was dripping with unspoken annoyance. She just stared up at him, chocking back silent sobs.

He huffed an annoyance, he really did not want her pity..

"_I'm not sure exactly what's going through your Gryffondor brain.." _She interrupted him with barely a whisper

"_Guilt...so much g-guilt." _His reaction was that of shock, he reeled back and looked as if she had slapped him. Before he could say anything she turned, wiped her eyes and ran.

Note: REVIEW PLEASE what will happen with Hermione?! and can everyone follow the story okay? Writing tips? also the song is real NOT MINE it's called "All love can be" check it out! it's beautiful!


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys just wanted to say thanks so much for the reviews and love for this story, what happens is that I actually handwrite everything before I type it up (It's easy to pretend you're taking notes in class and actually be writing fanfiction I know i'm awful by the way.) Also J.K Rowling's characters belong to her I just like to borrow them for my selfish reasons :/ ON WITH THE STORY!**

Hermione ran back to her rooms and quietly shut the door, grateful she hadn't run into anyone especially Harry or Ron. She quietly padded to her bathroom and turned on the water. She stripped her clothes and stared at her thin, bony body. The guilt she felt left her thin and bony, her stomach was constantly in knots and her mind raced. The anxiety had eaten away at her, leaving hips, collar bones, and ribs to protrude, she looked frail. She further examined her skin, pale but seemingly luminous, soft and smooth like pure, white ivory. She sighed and her amber eyes travelled, tracing a brazen and furious scar marring her from her chest down to her sternum. Finally raising her eyes to her face..she was the hallow shell of the girl she once knew. Her face held a gaunt appearance; though her lips were still plump and rosy her eyes were shrunken with deep grey circles orbiting the amber flames that were held within her held within her eyes. Though bloodshot she could still make out the small flickers of reds and golds encased within her eyelids. She then grabbed a comb deciding the best point to attack the wild caramel-chocolate colored curls that hung to her waist. After attempting to penetrate the halo of tresses she stepped into the shower and let the hot water soothe her tightly coiled muscles.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

After Hermione ran off, Severus stayed stock still replaying what happened. After a while he gazed back at the stars, turning over everything Hermione said over and over again in his mind. "_It was guilt not pity...what in Merlin's name has got her feeling so guilty about me?!" _The thought of someone feeling guilty for or about Severus was enough to thoroughly shock him. "_Had this been eating away at her? is that where the light in her brown eyes had gone? more importantly is that where the know-it-all that i'm used to went?." _Judging by Hermione's strong reaction to him the answer was yes, this had been eating away at her. He contemplated going to her rooms but ultimately decided against it, seeing that they both needed time. He headed back to his rooms and turned in.


	4. Chapter 4

**I know last chapter was short soooooooo sowwy! this one will be longer promise :)**

In the coming days Hermione gradually closed off from the world around her. She stayed in her rooms only asking Bubbles the house elf to bring her meals (not that she could eat them anyway).

Her stomach was in continuos knots and she replayed images of the shrieking shack and war over and over again. Sitting on her bed she drew her knees up to her chest and silently rocked back and forth. The tears flew free.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Downstairs Ron, Harry, Remus, and Severus were preparing lunch. Severus delicately boiled some noodles while Ron and Harry laughed at one of the pranks Fred and George sent over.

They all turned when they heard the whoosh of the floo network, in came Tonks. She headed straight for Remus and Teddy.

"There's my two handsome men!" she exclaimed

"Which one is cuter?" Remus asked devilishly. Tonks gave him a coy smile "Oh don't make me choose Remus, you know I can't decide." She took Teddy from his arms and walked into the living room, Remus's eyes trailing behind her.

As Remus was staring towards Tonks's direction everyone else in the room was staring at him, grinning like a kid in a candy shop. "Oi!" called Ron "Earth to Lupin!" Remus snapped out of it with a chuckle "Sorry Ronald, I just love her." Severus let out a non-believing snort at the idea and memory of love.

Remus turned to him "What's so funny Severus?" he asked amusedly. "Love to me now is nothing more than a moronic joke, I don't believe it, anymore at least. It is a nuisance causes you to do things you would never even consider. Then it gets thrown back into your face" he added coldly. Remus actually laughed and put a hand on his shoulder "Severus" he sighed "Don't keep your heart closed."

As the topic of love and Severus Snape came up, Harry couldn't help but feel a mix of sadness, pity, guilt, and awkwardness all working together to make him feel extremely uncomfortable. He still remembered very clearly the extreme shock when viewing the pensieve of Snape's memories. His mother's wavy red hair and crystalline emerald eyes were so vivid. He was snapped out of his reverie when Ron's maniacal cackling rang in his ears. Everyone turned to see Ron doubled over, face cherry red and gasping for breath. "Oh!" He cried "Snape, I think Lupin's trying to tell you to find a girlfriend."

Severus froze, his gaze turned into the icy, menacing teacher stare toward Ron, his deep baritone voice slid velvety through the air in a dangerously low voice. "Mr. Weasley I do not believe that my "love life" is any of your concern." With that Ron froze, he knew he'd pushed it a little too far even if it was a joke. Quickly piecing himself together he gathered a little of his Gryffondor courage and spoke heartily. "Alright if you say so! but I do know of some gorgeous single witches!" Ron waggled his eyebrows at Snape who gave him a look of utter malice and indifference, he let a cold snort and turned back to his pasta.

Tonks then reentered holding a giggling Teddy. "Do any of you know where Hermione is?! I really need to fiver his these books!" No one noticed the way Severus's jaw clenched and a shiver ran through his spine when he remembered what she said. Ron was the first to speak.

"Did you try the library?" he suggested

Tonks nodded

"Swimming pool?"

"yep"

"basement?"

"si" Tonks responded. A puzzled expression crossed Ron's usually humored face. "You know Ron I don't think she's left her room in two days." Came Harry's voice. Severus indeed knew it had been two days since he had seen or heard from Hermione and he was worried (even though he tried not to care) he really just felt she needed to be alone for awhile.

"You know I think i'm going to go check one her." Tonks said simply and walked out of the room. She didn't know it but Severus's eyes burned holes in her back.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hermione had just finished getting sick, still doubled over when she heard a knock on her door. The nausea cane crashing down in waves again. She stood slowly as to not give in to the dizziness and nerves. Straightening her clothes she started for the door. When she opened it, she was somewhat relieved and scared.

She tested her voice. "Er hi ah Tonks." she tried a smile it came out as more of a grimace. "_Ew do not smile again do not attempt." _she thought to herself. "Hermione?!" she exclaimed but suddenly relaizing she was out in the hallway lowered her voice "Hermione can I please come in?" Hermione said nothing but opened the door wider until Tonks was in.

Tonks stood in front of her letting her gaze drift from her hair down her frail body to her bare feet. "Hermione what's going on? please tell me..." Hermione quickly replied "Oh Tonks really it's nothing!" "_Liar" _Hermione thought. Quickly realizing she had to elaborate on her lie she spoke again "Really thought I-I was out in the rain and I caught this nasty, ah um horrid virus." Her face was pleading with Tonks to not ask anymore questions. Tonks didn't sold on the explanation. "Hermione..is there something going on that you need to talk about...i'm here for you." Hermione froze at her words, she wanted to tell the older witch everything, to cry in her arms and have someone-anyone to comfort her. Before Tonks had a chance to see the tears in Hermione's eyes she turned and pet Crookshanks. She tried to steady her voice as much as possible "Oh course not Tonks. i'm sick please don't worry."

With that Hermione felt a little piece of her soul drift away. "Alright Hermione but if you need to talk, i'm here, but I brought you some books from the minister! Arithmancy, Dark Arts, and Parseltongue." This earned Tonks a genuine smile from Hermione "Tonks you shouldn't have!" walking over to the books she picked up one examining the cover and turning to Tonks. "Tonks thank you so much you don't know how much I appreciate this." "You're welcome Hermione." Tonks smile and wrapped her arms around the tiny witch.

"Hermione!" Tonks exclaimed, removing her arms "You're so thin and bony!" Hermione flushed paler "Uh thanks Tonks" she said sarcastically "You really need to be eating more! you're still growing." Tonks looked utterly concerned. Brow furrowed, eyes wide, and chin out. "Alright mummy I promise!" Hermione chuckled. Finally cracking Tonks's concerned expression. "Alright well enjoy the books." Tonks said softly turning to the door. Before she left she stood in the half way open door. "Hermione" slowly reluctantly tearing her eyes from the book she looked up at Tonks with a warm smile. "Yea?" she said softly. "I'm here, w-we all are." Sorrow filled Hermione once more but her smile never faltered. "I know" she said quietly. Tonks gave her one more speculative look and quietly shut the door.

Hermione plopped on her bed, willing the crystals behind her eyes to release. Seeing that the tears weren't going to form Hermione opened the new book "_The Dark Arts, and your Unassuming Victim." _Hermione chuckled painfully at the condescending title and quietly raked through the book.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Tonks quietly made her way into the sitting room where Remus was playing with Teddy. Harry and Ron playing checkers and Severus sitting in a corner reading a book on snake bites. Ron looked up as he saw Tonks walk to the couch. "Well? How is she?" Ron asked with false hope. Tonks sighed "She's not well, she looks as if she's been through her own personal hell and back." She's looks really underweight. Have you not noticed?!"

Ron and Harry were the first to answer. "Well geez I mean she wear her baggy robes so we don't really see her womanly ahem ah I don't know body/" Severus rolled his eyes behind his book, the two were very much still immature boys who didn't know how to handle the simple task of referring to Hermione's figure. "Oh and she always has food in front of her when we sit down for meals!" Harry added.

Tonks simply rolled her eyes in exasperation and huffed "Men are so oblivious! you said you SAW food in front of her mouth, but did you see that food leave her plate and go into her mouth?!" Harry and Ron looked dumbfounded and gaping. Finally Harry stammered something quietly "W-well no but we just assumed." From the back of the room came a dark chuckle that reverberated through the room.

Tonks whirled around to look through the room. " AND WHAT IS EXACTLY SO FUNNY SNAPE?!" Hands on hips, brows furrowed, she was the vision of a hell cat. Snape wore and indifferent, stony expression but quirked a raven eyebrow in amusement. "Nothing I just find it comical that I've been here less than seventy-two hours and already panic and chaos ensues, and that these two dunderheads couldn't put two and two together." Tonks didn't know what to say at first but quickly found her words and spoke with conviction."Severus Snape you are not so innocent. she wasn't this upset before you came, I think you and I both know that there are some things that need to be resolved."

Shock and anger flashed in his eyes but the emotions did just that, flash and they were gone. Back to the cold, indifferent stare. His next words slid carefully through the air. "Very Well." The anger that had somewhat diminished in Tonks from her tirade was back again at his expressionless, non- chalet attitude. Remus quickly seeing this stood and took Tonks's hand "Well I think it's time for dinner! wouldn't you say Ron, Harry?" Knowing better than to argue or ask anymore questions they both complied. Tonks stomped into the kitchen, leaving Snape to ponder. "_Resolve? tomorrow maybe? yes I believe that will suffice." _He needed to talk to resolve whatever was wrong with Hermione and he would see her tomorrow. Deciding this he went and took his seat to enjoy a meal of roasted chicken.

A/N: Hi guys thanks for taking this journey with me! lol REVIEW PLEASE (or else Snape and Hermione get it) also I have some questions for you. 1.) What Hogwarts houses are you guys in? 2.) Do you think i'm doing an alright job at portraying Snape (He's very difficult) 3.)This isn't a question but I just wanted to apologize for not including a Snape/Hermione scene sowwwy it's coming though!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys sorry this took so long please don't be mad! it takes a really long time because I handwrite everything before I type it (your teachers think you're taking notes when actually...you're writing a Snape/Hermione fanfic!...oops) anyway it might be awhile before I update again because i'm in a VERY time consuming musical and i have three solos (YAY ME!) anyway questions below please answer. **

The Dark arts book proved most entertaining. Hermione had been engulfed in it since 7:30 in the evening, only getting up to use the bathroom. Hermione's guilt still weighed down on her heavily but with Tonks's books she allowed herself to become purely and utterly enraptured in the more dark spells and curses.

It was nearly 2:30 in the morning when she finally got up. Hunger eventually outweighed chapter 32 and she hadn't really eaten in two days (if you don't count the small nibbles taken out of sandwiches).

Clad in her lacy, ivory nightgown she made her way to the kitchens and put on a pot of tea, careful not to make a sound. A peak of luminescent moonlight bathed a sliver of the kitchen in a silvery white light casting an ethereal glow around her.

She then brought out a loaf of bread and charmed two slices waiting for them to become nice and toasty she sat down to sip her dark brewed Irish tea.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Severus couldn't sleep. Once again the harrowing nightmares had a steely grip on his subconscious. It was always the same, one minute he was laying under the willow tree with Lilly then the clouds rolled in and suddenly thousands of identical snakes to Nagini would appear coiled, ready to strike and aimed at his throat. He would reach out a hand to Lilly only she was no longer lying next to him but standing above him uttering the same words "It was never you."

He would turn back to the snakes and as it struck he would hear Voldemort's maniacal laughter. He would always wake with a start and would never return to sleep. Getting up he threw on a black shirt to match the black silk boxers and started for the kitchens of Grimmauld Place.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hermione swayed in the moonlight humming softly as she buttered her toast and stirred her tea. She plopped down in a seat about to take a bite when she heard almost inaudible footsteps coming down the various floors of the impossible house.

Being vigilant in the war did that, she could always tell when and what floor someone was on with her vigilance. She had a good idea of who would be down here at this hour, usually it was Ron wanting a midnight snack and a chat, she only hoped it was Ron and not the newest houseguest as she didn't feel completely prepared to face him.

She decided the best course of action was to simply put on another pot of tea for whoever would ultimately make their way in here. Getting up she stood in the silvery white light and filled the kettle.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Severus quietly made his way down the stairs, so quiet in fact he didn't wake the ugly and demented portrait of Mrs. Black or make any of the stairs squeak. Stealth was a top priority, being a Slytherin helped but being a double agent for the most feared dark wizard in Great Britain and perhaps the world was what made him so careful and quiet.

Only someone who had directly been in the war would have heard or suspected someone. He was just about to step into the kitchen when he heard the same sorrowful and almost tragic sounding song from two nights ago.

He automatically knew who it was. Peeking his head around he could see the beautiful terra-cotta colored ringlets that fell in ringlets to her waist, her pale doll-like skin bathed in iridescent moonlight made her look like a ghostly memory. Her body clad in elegant lace only added to her supernatural appearance.

Though she looked in a way somewhat eerie he couldn't help but admire how much she'd grown, she was a woman no doubt about it. Her hips and waist were thin but curvy and where her chest was once boxy and boyish was replaced by two sweetly curved mounds.

His admiring gaze was interrupted by a soft voice "Whoever you are, you may come out..I have tea waiting." For once in a very long time Severus Snape did not know what to do. He was planning on talking to her - tomorrow though. Drawing to his full height, he took a breath and gracefully made his way to the table, taking the seat across from her cooling tea and toast.

Slowly she turned around, an array of emotions quickly flashed across her face; surprise, dread, uneasiness - all the ones yo would expect. Except Severus was no ordinary man and could read people quite well.

Besides the obvious emotions there were more underlying the features of her delicate face. Remorse, guilt, malice (whether towards him or herself he did not know) and finally she held the look of utter sorrow and tragedy. All these emotions flashed before her face, in the blink of an eye before her face became a stone wall. Each stone carefully set not to display emotion, though her stones, Severus noticed were cracking and shifting under the pressure. He was the first to break the silence.

"What are you doing up at this ungodly hour Granger?" he drawled

Slowly closing and reopening her eyes, she shifted under the weight of his gaze

"I guess I could ask you the same thing Professor." she slowly slid into her chair and studied the center of the table while chewing the inside of her cheek. The look on her face thoroughly unnerved Severus, the light in those amber eyes looked to be gone, doused by something unknown. He finally had a good look at her face. In the silvery moonlight her skin looked so pale it was almost translucent. It had a doll-like quality and he wondered if it were as soft as silk-stone. His eyes were still at her face..a still, unmoving mask which thoroughly chilled him. He'd known that look, he lives inside his own unmoving mask, never letting anyone besides Lilly in.

He continued to silently study her face, no doubt she was beautiful, a certain elegance and grace but there was more to her than what her features lead on. Her face was gaunt, it held a paleness that was just a little too pale to be healthy and her eyes were carved around with dark circles.

A soft voice interrupted his study, "Hungry, I uh was hungry."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hermione had expected Ron or Harry, or even Tonks with Teddy! but she finally realized that she was about to face the one man she'd been avoiding all week... Severus Snape. As she turned she couldn't help but feel the panic set in, and then the guilt and remorse wash over her like an old wound reopening again. She couldn't help but feel a sense of malice building in her stomach, she was so mad at herself for not caring about him more during the war.

Then when he spoke everything became real and familiar. The deep drawl soothing and rumbling in her ear. She managed to squeak three words after some time of not answering and getting lost in her own words.

"Hungry.. I-I was hungry" she felt her words hang there and dropped her gaze to her toast. She felt the black, fathomless gaze studying her.

"Hungry?" he perplexed

"Yes, I haven't eaten dinner...yet." she managed to hold her voice, she dared look up into his face. She noticed he was still silently studying her with a gaze purely of curiosity, his eyes dropped to her toast.

"And this is dinner?" He quirked an amused eyebrow and smirked. She gave a small, discreet smile "I have a thing for breakfast food at night.." she blushed slightly at her own admission and looked down at her hands which were folded neatly in her lap.

An uncomfortable silence settled over them and Hermione felt that if no one was going to talk the silence would stifle the air and swallow them up. She raised her chin and gazed directly into those ebony eyes "Why are you down here, sir?" he shifted in his chair, unsure as how to approach the question.

"Can I be honest with you Miss Granger in hopes that you won't tell Potter or Weasley?" Hermione was sure that he was about to scream her into oblivion and relive the events of the shrieking shack. Feeling a wave of nausea and guilt pass over her she slowly nodded, bracing herself. "Nightmares" it was a simple statement, no yelling or images of the shrieking shack came and she slowly came to an understanding.

Slowly she nodded, looking at him "I know those like the back of my hand." Now images of the painful dreams of the shrieking shack did come into view and prodded at her mind.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Severus had no idea what to think let alone what to say. This was a completely different Hermione, so quiet and timid. The one in his class just a few months ago was proud, annoying, and exceedingly Gryffindor. He almost missed the old Hermione she was a constant in his life at Hogwarts. He could always count on her to answer his questions, flail her hand in the air every time he opened his mouth, and strut around with the Golden Trio. Now he just wasn't sure about her, something he didn't like. The silence weighed down on them, oppressive and bleak.

Then she was once again the one to break the silence. "Why are you down here sir?" A simple question with a vast multitude of answers. He really hated sharing personal sentiments but with her maybe, just maybe he could share some things.

"Nightmares" that was honestly the most simple answer he could give her. He wasn't really expecting the reaction she gave him but there was nothing more on her face than quiet understanding. He decided to not think for awhile and just sit.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hermione didn't exactly feel relaxed but she wasn't as uncomfortable as she thought she would be.

"So you have experienced nightmares as well?" his deep voice drawled, she quietly nodded. "Yes, I can't recall the last time I didn't" she chuckled morosely and he nodded in agreement.

"Well care to tell your awful potions master what they're about?" at this a slow but sure smile spread across her face, as soon as it spread it faded leaving its remnants in her eyes. Her face then twisted into a grimace and her expression turned fearful.

"Sir I don't know if I really should..it s-sort of includes y-you." Her face fell to her lap and Severus's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Really?" he drawled "How fascinating..and tell me Granger, what do I do in these dreams of yours?" A faint red blush washed over her practically white skin "Well I sometimes it's different but m-most of the time.." She froze staring straight at him with crystal tears threatening to spill out of those now flaming amber eyes.

"Granger" he said softly "Tell me" a whispered command "You need to do this" at this the diamond like tears chased down her cheeks, he felt the sudden urge to lift his thumb and catch them but shoved the longing down within him.

Her voice was barely a whisper "It's me, just me in the shrieking shack, I turn around and suddenly you're there o-on the floor..." at this a sob relinquished itself from her now heaving chest.

"You're-you're just bleeding and you're hands are reaching towards me, I-I tried to reach you but every time I take a step forward you get farther and farther away! and-and you just stare at me with your dead eyes...and then I-I." her chin was no uncontrollably wobbling and she was shaking "I completely lose you."

The tears spilled now, rolling, streaming down her face. He sat there and simply looked at her sobbing into herself, he then did something that not only surprised her but himself as well. Slowly but surely he reached across the table and grasped her hand in his own, she looked utterly shell shocked, staring at her hand in his own. "How can you even talk to me?.." she spoke quietly. "I left you to die..on the floor." her voice sounded nothing like herself, it was several octaves lower, harsh and sounded like it belonged to some deranged demon. He had no idea what to say. Instead he applied small amount of pressure to her hand. She looked at him with her teary gaze and squeezed back, he knew he made the right decision.

At her small gesture his heart gave an almost painful lurch and his stomach did belly roles. After a second of the painful lurch and swooping stomach he withdrew his hand and continued to stare at her with a fixed gaze as she wiped away stray tears.

"Granger" his voice a low rumble "Why are you being so foolish? why have you done this to yourself? let this guilt eat away at you?" He could see more tears gather behind her eyes. "How can you not hate me?" she retorted, the tears once again resumed their erratic descent down her cheeks. "I-I feel so incredibly guilty!" she began to sob again.

His brows furrowed as he watched her small body wracked with sobs "I-we left you there in the shrieking shack..to die! I how could I do that?" She was shaking violently now "Granger you need to listen, calm down. You needed to help Potter and Weasley you couldn't stay behind for me!" She was still shaking as he was talking "That's not all...I-I-I" She was gasping for breath now, her sobs closed her throat and she felt the smooth ease of darkness slide over her like a familiar friend. She was only half aware of the arms that wrapped under her knee and her shoulders that carried her up the stairs and tucked her into bed.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

He should have seen the signs sooner her thought to himself. The panicky sobs and fading eyes should have been a clear indicator to anyone "_Lovely, i've killed Granger_." He thought as he tucked her frail form into bed. A few years ago he wouldn't care, he may have even found amusement in her faint heartedness, but now he saw her in a different light. He made a promise to her and himself to make an honest effort to help her and try and form a friendship. He knew deep inside that her intelligence level was most likely the same as his, if not higher and that she would never fail to keep him entertained. Maybe, just maybe she could even help him. Severus was by no means an optimist, in fact he was quite the opposite but looking down at her, curly mane and all he couldn't help but feel a small glimmer of hope. Staring down at her, straightening her bedding he leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on her forehead and fled the scene.

**Hey guys it's me again! I really like asking you guys questions! it's so fun to get to know you tehehe **

**1.) What's your favorite pairing for Harry Potter and why?**

**2.) Do you absolutely loathe Hermione/Ron together?**

**3.) Do you sometimes only watch Harry Potter for Snape?**

**4.) Who is your favorite character?**

**5.) sorry for all these questions..please continue to read and review love you all sososososososo much :D**


End file.
